out of place

 

The day ended in such a mess. Not how you would want your Saturday to end.  He pulled the door handle and got into his room. The door followed him slowly and silently. With a shattering sound it locked. It was dark inside.  A string of thoughts traversed his mind. He felt heavily burdened. He gazed through the window and listened to the monologue of the blustery wind that swept the sprays of rain. 

A queer feeling engulfed his soul. What you feel when you’re down to earth and can’t even explain to yourself the kind of feeling you have. For the first time he felt like he didn’t have a family. Like they were just people he knew. A young sister, a father and a mum. She was not his biological mum, but he never treated her any lesser than he would have treated his real mum. He kept staring outside as the rain swept through the wrought iron fence. 

Things had changed drastically and he couldn’t find a reason why. His father had never been this careless with his choice of words. He was hurt. He felt broken. As the words repeated in his head, he felt warm tears rolling down his cheeks. I would have said chubby cheeks, but it’s a cliché I exhausted back in the days.

He lays on bed and covers himself half way. It is freezing cold. He wants to sip coffee but the fear of bumping on his dad in the corridors kept him on his bed. He didn’t want to see him. He wanted to disappear the next morning and go without trace, just didn’t know where to. The confusion that comes with a broken heart. He felt paranoid. Now he knows that men get hurt too. 

All his life he felt tough, he felt like he could deal with anything after he learned that his mom was long dead, but time is just a bastard and will catch you off guard. He listens to the distant sounds of life outside, the crickets and frogs croaking. you can hear distant barking dogs, the night had become silent and uncannily still.

My guy felt strange, he wanted to connect with his mum and tell her how rough the world had become. Sorrow was sketched all over his face. The night was scary and intimidating. He wanted to be with someone. He wanted to feel alive. He drew together the pictures he had seen of her and tried to make out a complete human out of them. He could not see her face clearly but he knew he looked like her. The photos of her mum were old and faded. He hoped that at all the scriptures don’t lie he will meet her one day in the land of milk and honey.

He called out her name slowly, repeatedly. She responded this time. He felt her. Fresh tears filled his eyes and dropped on his pillow. He closed his eyes and he saw her, but not her face. He talked to her but hitherto doesn’t remember what either of them said. He felt connected to her, what he had always longed for. Feeling afloat and peaceful. He woke up feeling strange. He lost something, some part of him, and felt an urgent need to leave.

3.45 am is the time on the clock. The night is freezing cold than ever, its tranquil and peaceful. Yours truly jumps out of bed and on the drawer, pulls his travel bag. He fits a few items inside, t-shirts, a pair of shoes and a toothbrush among others. You don’t forget your toothbrush, do you? My guy dresses up, he doesn’t want to take a shower because he didn’t want to raise an alarm.

 It's 4.00 am, he’s done and ready to leave. He has to use the front door, its less noisy. He wanted to see his sister. One last time before making this decision that would change the rest of his life either for better or for worse. He loved her. They were best of friends. She’d been the only sibling he had. My gentleman didn’t know how he felt about their mother. A calculated move was vital, lest he get snagged. He knew their mother woke up between 4.30am and 5.00am. He had to act now.

 They had woken up, he felt it. Dude had to pass their bedroom door to see his sister. He couldn’t risk so he chose to leave. There he goes, silently to the door and unlocked it. Yours truly headed straight behind the house to the fence and threw his bag over. It fell with a thud on the wet ground. He looked up the fence and felt he wanted to see her. He had to. It was a deep and sincere feeling. It was now riskier than ever but he chose to  risk. He draws back and heads to the front door. It swings open and he disappears inside. Straight to her room he walks, knocks gently and look around suspiciously like he is under surveillance. No response! He knocks the second time, no response! He is getting frustrated. Light is flickering from his father’s bedroom curtains. He knows he’s gummed up. He has to save his situation, real quick.

Someone is opening the door. He is there standing aghast, face to face with his biggest fear. He can’t rush back, it’s game over. Someone is moving the curtain and the door is opening gently. He tries to twist his sister’s door knob as a final attempt to save himself. The door flings open and he disappears just as whoever was opening the door gets out. Its feels heavenly when things work in your favour at your most desperate times.

She wakes up at the slightest tap on her back, he whispers and tells her to stay silent. She is in the blanket and looks confused, he doesn’t have much time. She gazes at him even more confused. He tells her how broken he is and of the sleepless nights he’s had. She was asleep yesternight when things got gross. She had no idea, only felt he was not in good terms with dad. Yours truly explains it to her, how he wanted to explain it to his mother in the night but couldn’t. How his old man told him that he killed his mother, that he’s the reason he’s never been happy in life because he took away the person he loved. That he’s just a stranger because he doubted if he was really his son. 

These words pierced his heart like a sword of fire. Who do you blame when your mum pass on while giving birth to you? Your ancestors or the doctor? I would blame life. It was a handkerchief occasion in the dark bedroom. She sobbed silently. She didn’t know how to comfort him because all their life it had been the opposite.

He had to go. Time was running out. He had to try a life somewhere else. To meet his fellow strangers and make a life. Her sobs became loud and this was not going to end as he anticipated so he went for the door. She gets up behind him begging him not to leave. He has to be more tactical now that they are up. He opens the door and heads to the corridors.  It’s dark, she goes back and falls on her bed. She’s hurt. He had to go back to his room to draw a bearing from there because someone was in the living room. He peeps through the door to see if the living lights were out.

Lights are out, he takes a deep breath holds the door knob and twists it. He opens it slowly throwing the curtains behind his back. He put his right foot through the door, he has gut feelings. No one! He takes a breath of relief. He heads for the living room. It's dark and quiet. He feels like he should use the kitchen exit this time. No, he has to stick to the plan. 

He reaches for the door that leads to the main entrance. He gets hold of the door knob and suddenly the lights are on like he switched them on with the door knob. He is here, yes his old man. This is happening. Scary! Not a good time to fail your mission, but this doesn’t end here.