18th June

There are three parties here, but more if you’re keen. Friday it is. Late in the evening, the sun is going back wherever it came from in the morning. The horizon is beautifully colored by the setting sun. In Muthiga people are busy getting drunk, if you’re not getting drunk you just feel crazy happy. It is Friday you know. 

I was heading to the hospital. I needed to get there quick, someone was there. Someone important. I jumped into a matatu, we headed to Naivasha road. It was playing some annoying music. You can’t ask them to change the music or switch it off. You can’t argue with a tout in Nairobi you know, they are like African moms who believe in prophets. I chose endurance. I leaned back and put my bag on my laps as the music throbbed my eardrums.

At the Nairobi hospital, having lost my way a couple of times I bumped on her. The lady I came to see. She was not sick; someone else was. He was going in for surgery in the next few minutes. We were not allowed to see him. The silent scary moments are here. Panic written all over our faces. His situation was not bad but it was the first time I had a close person going for a major surgery. We whispered silent prayers as we walk outside the hospital gates.

We sauntered over to the adjacent building, there was a parking lot there. The car was there waiting patiently. Patiently like we believers are waiting for the 2^nd coming of the messiah. She’s been there a whole day, just waiting. Cars are very loyal, loyal than some friends we have. But they are more like friends because sometimes they let you down. What's blameless though ?

On my phone its few minutes to 1900hrs. I skipped a class today, but that’s not news. Its Friday after all. The lecturer understands. She’s seated on the passenger seat. She’s troubled, it’s very evident. We go past the gate. I wave to the soldier there like the gentleman I am. I only didn’t have some 200 bob to put in his palms. We take a few turns and there we go. Its Dennis Pritt road. I was clueless about Dennis Pritt road as you are until that day.

The evening is beautiful. The street lights gleam, giving the streets an astounding mien. Through Lavington, on across Waiyaki Way at the ABC place we go. Along red hill road, one of the most beautiful roads in Kenya. We’ve been talking for sometimes now. You can’t use red hill road and fail to admire it. “We should come back and see this place in day light,” she says. “yeah, we will plan,” I answer nonchalantly. A conversation picks up. It feels nice to just speak out more so when you’re troubled. She tells me what happened to the gentleman in the hospital. He had a broken jaw. It’s hard to believe how it happened. It had to be fixed through surgery.

She’s a strong lady. She’s been through a lot in the past months. She’s kept her head up and she keeps keeping on. She tells me she's  not gonna cook because she's tired. There’s some ready food in the house. In the middle of our conversation we realized that we lost the road. We are headed for the longest route and can’t turn back. She tells me someone said they have gut feelings about this drive. Maybe that’s why we are lost. But No, missing lanes in Nairobi is no news.

It’s the google map that gave us away. It always looks for routes with lighter or no traffic. We didn’t know where we were. We only knew we were going home and we were close then. We made a few turns and joined Limuru highway heading to Ruaka.

The highway is smooth and you feel like pressing the gas to the floor, you look around and see no one is in a competition with you so you decide to be a cool driver. Heading towards Ndenderu its smooth like the construction ended yesterday. The music in the car is soothing, slow and relieving. Reminding you of the good things life has brought your way. You feel peaceful just waiting to reach home, remove your shoes and pee then lie on the bed staring at the ceiling. The road is fairly busy, men and women are rushing home to see their families. Some are rushing to grab a drink before curfew.

I shift lanes to go past a car that was exiting the highway. And right in front of me is a car from nowhere, crossing the highway with no indicators on. The brakes failed me; I couldn’t just find them. I pressed and stood on it thinking that they may just respond. But guess what, that was gas. I pressed all of it, to the floor. 

What happened next was a moment of insane confusion. Loud bang!! Airbags busted on our faces, the engine emitting smoke and the seatbelts lying on the floor. Its hard to open the door. The door glasses are shattered. People are crowded trying to force the doors open. A man shouts from the crowd, ‘switch the engine off.’ I can’t see right but I manage to switch it off.

We are helped out. I find her and give her a passionate hug. I ask if she’s okay. She tells me she feels funny on her chest. Everyone is wondering how none of us has a scratch. Our condition and that for the car are completely contradictory. The car’s nose is shattered and the engine probably badly damaged. I can’t find my phone and that was the last day I had it. That doesn’t hurt me, what hurts me is why I couldn’t find the brakes.

I can’t stop blaming myself. I feel like the world should just end right away. The officers arrive, one says I was on the wrong and I can’t understand how. I was just on the highway. The other is still studying the accident scene. Seems like he also can’t figure it out. A friend of ours pulls up. Feels good to have someone around at this time.

My driving license expired days earlier but I said, let me just use it once nothing bad will happen. Here I am, badly hit by the reality of ignorance. I blame the devil anyway. I feel like some bad omen has been cast on us. Days earlier the car comprehensive insurance expired. We picked a third-party cover for the time being. You get it?

This came unannounced. It fell on us in total surprise. Remember what Polly Shelby character promised mother superior? That if she comes for her which she might yet decide, she will wear high heels so she can hear her approach on the cobblestones and have time to repent? Not this time, we didn’t even have the time to repent. She is more worried about the gentleman in the theatre. The doctors should have called by now. This is becoming fishy. Yours truly on the other side is worried about the accident, why did it have to happen. Did it hold back something?

The lady was taken to hospital for check-up, I panicked. I made silent desperate prayers. I made calls to tell my close ones what happened. It was unbelievable. Finding sleep must have been difficult that night for them. The Friday night of 18^th June. It’s one of my darkest nights.

It’s almost 2400hrs when we left the police station. It was past curfew time so we were issued a note with the OB number should we be stopped. I close my eyes to sleep but instead, I’m still trying to find the brakes. Trying to figure out how I could avoid hitting that car, how I could have saved the other driver from that head injury. It feels terrible but still I think I was not on the wrong. It haunts me that this happened. I’m asking myself endless questions barely able to answer any.

I couldn’t sleep, I felt like I would wake up in the morning and find myself dead or something. You’ve heard about internal bleedings?  My left arm felt numb, that’s the only thing I felt from the accident though. It was a bad idea not to go to hospital, I wanted it to dawn so that I go for check-up. It turned out to be the longest night I’ve ever had, if you exclude that night I was travelling to coast with a messed-up stomach... story for another day.

The events that happened started trailing my mind. Some friends of the other victim came to the scene, they were two gentlemen. They were making a lot of calls and giving the officers the phone to talk to someone, probably an OCS or an officer of higher rank. I felt defeated. I talked to the guys because I heard them speak my language, it gave me the confidence. They weren’t building something against me. I wasn’t on the wrong. We became friends. I found out we were homies and maybe shared a great-grandfather. They were of help.

I was alive the next morning. I took a shower and headed to the hospital at 6am. I had a case to handle. I wasn’t just ready for the most humiliating week of my life. I felt depressed. Now I know that sometimes an accident is no one’s fault, it's just an accident.