An Inch in love

 

Have you ever asked google what character development is? if you ask google it will probably suggest for you if you want the meaning in Kenya. “More often than not, men will embarrass you,” that’s how she started the story. I crossed my legs and sat back in curiosity like Benjamin Zulu does when he’s advising you about relationships, only that I don’t have big eyes. This time it’s a lady, you can call her Atis or Munglu. She met a guy who liked her, she was not sure if she liked him too. Maybe they met at the super metro queue going to Kinoo. Someone made us believe that relationships last longer if you met her in the mall and you were afraid to ask for her number.

She was reluctant to give him a chance despite him being Doktari. Women like this title. How you introduce yourself in a family gathering when your husband is a Doctor, “Doktari and I…” you’d rather cross the ocean on a bicycle than miss the word Doktari in your introduction. She’s a college student somewhere in western Kenya. She pursues a decent course, not Snake Raring with IT like some of you in Maseno. He lives in Kisumu. She can’t explain how things happened but she started liking the guy. She decided to test the waters to see how deep it runs. She saw a potential in him, something that her mother had always told her to look for in a man. She finally found it in him.

 He became the man she likes. They didn’t meet often because it was a long distance relationship but they always found a reason to hang out on weekends. In one of the dates the guy happened to come along with his mates. The day was bright, a beautiful day hanging out with the guys who will bring cows to your father’s home. Not all the most beautiful moments end nicely, at least if you’re human you can attest to this. “This is kevo, this is Odhis, the tall one is Brayo and the one on phone is so and so.” You don’t miss Brayo in your list of friends. By any chance you do, please have Kevo.

That’s how the introduction went. When it was her turn he told the guys, “hey boyz, this is Atis,” and a full stop followed. She was burning in the inside. Boiling literally, there was almost steam from her head. They ordered drinks and food. The day ended! She had questions, questions of who she is to him.  He apologised, but still he couldn’t see the reason why he was apologizing. He started ghosting her, bizarre situations flaring up like opportunistic diseases. He goes silent for weeks, when she inquires the response is always “busy” you know he’s a training doctor. She has to fight for her relationship.

She takes herself to his house one weekend, and things are okay when they are together. When she steps outside, it’s like a switch of moods, on and off. He doesn’t talk. She says, okay so be it. She goes silent for a week then two, he’s back in the picture. Rollo Tomasi taught me something about shit test.. He says a word or two and the relationship is back on track. Who bewitched you ladies?

They are happy for two weeks then he disappears. She decides to make a call. “.. by the way, it’s not a must,” she starts the conversation. She’s yelling at him like Bahati yells at Diana when he’s squabbled for not changing the baby’s diapers. In a calm voice he says “I have a girlfriend by the way….” It’s funny how “...by the way it’s not a must” converted to premium tears. Amidst the tears filled conversation, he says that she’s still the girl he loves anyway. Men will embarrass you is the statement in bold here. This was a break up, no more calls, no more chats, nothing! She blocked him for a few days then Angel Gabriel shows up from heaven in a white robe and tells her “you know what child, it’s never that serious” as a Christian who had a vision, she unblocks him.

One day a conversation erupted when he replied to her status. He called but she didn’t pick she was focusing on moving on and putting her life in order. She’d rather have an organised peaceful life than have a “Daktari and I” tittle. She decides to shift her attention to her studies. She wants to be an independent woman in the near future. One cool weekend she goes to Kisumu to run some errands and to meet a friend. She remembers Angel Gabriel’s words, “it’s never that serious.” So she decides that saying Hi isn’t bad after all.

They met and grabbed a drink. It wasn’t a bad weekend. The next day she travels back to western with mixed feelings. It wasn’t long before he requested if she could come for a weekend. This was abrupt but she didn’t hesitate. Furthermore, weekends were boring in school. She got some cash from wherever and on Friday she honoured the invite. At 1800hrs she was in Kisumu heading to his place. The house was as good as she left it, just a few new things like a red XL bra in the bathroom and some lady’s shoes.

They take some tea as they catch up. No chaos, just a nice conversation asking how her journey was, how she has been and so on. There is silence, then he says “my girlfriend is coming over” you can’t imagine the look on her face. This is some kind of a joke. But sadly, it was not fool’s day. 

The chance of this being a joke is close to nil. She insists she’s going nowhere; they rather sleep the three of them in one bed like P.K. in the sachets. He convinces her that there’s a good friend nearby who can accommodate her for the night. She thought of hiring a room but that means she won’t have a means back tomorrow.

It hits 1900hrs and they set of to Brayo’s place. Not the first Brayo, another one. They walk in the dark corridors of the neighborhood like Mary and Joseph in Bethlehem looking for a perfect birthplace for the prince of peace. Silence dangling in the space between them as they go. His door is locked, Brayo is perhaps sipping white cup somewhere. As a good associate Brayo directs them to his friend who neither them Knows. If you think this is funny, you have a reason to repent.

They reach his house, their feet are muddy, they are socked in the rain. Let’s call him Deno, he was in company of a friend, an XL size of a friend. One who can’t run even when teargas is thrown at him. He leaves her there, in a one room house with two male strangers. He goes back to have a beautiful night with the girlfriend he doesn’t love. What is love anyway? She’s hungry. She hasn’t eaten for hours. They talk and know each other but they are also wondering what on earth is not happening.

Deno got invited somewhere and he has to leave, Friday things that our generation believe in. The new religion. She is left behind with Mr. XL. She’s done holding back her hunger, enzymes are eating up her stomach walls; so she asks politely what is there to be cooked. 

There’s some food in the well disorganized house...

As the girl her mother taught her to be, she cleans the dishes. She chops the onions and the tomatoes nicely. She puts some water on the cooker. It’s always Ugali first. She can’t turn on the cooker. She calls him for help and he’s wondering why the cylinder is empty yet they filled it the other day.

He sets out to go and replace the cylinder. She is waiting, staring at the beautifully chopped tomatoes. It was taking quite some time so she takes her phone to pass time with candy crash. It was at 10pm that she realised XL was gone, like gone! gone!  for good. Because she took his number as he was leaving she writes him a paragraph. She’s bitter. Not because he left, but because as a human being with a national ID he would have just said he’s not going to fill the cylinder. She felt stupid! Bitter with herself for the things she made her sweet-self go through. Like you would be.

She wonders why on earth would a woman give birth to such a sweet poison, but it’s all her fault. She regrets everything. She is crying for being mean to herself, but she feels like laughing at herself as well. Crying for not loving herself enough and laughing for being the most foolish person she’s ever met. She eats all the slices of bread that remained in the house not forgiving the chopped tomatoes. Despite what you are going through, eat first! it works. The next day I can’t remember what happened but trust me, she went back to school.

 Don’t forget that men will always embarrass you!