Skip to main content

What the hell !

 


I saw a woman 

The woman gets into a matatu in one of the streets here. Without saying a word, she signals to the driver by rubbing her thumb on her nose and waving her fingers at him. 

The good driver recognizes her, goes to her and uses two hands in similar sort of signal and waves every one of his fingers at her.

The lady holds her right arm out at the driver and slashes at it a couple of times with her left hand.

Then, at that point, the driver puts his left hand on his right bicep and yanks his right arm up in a clench at her.

The lady then cups both of her hands under her bosoms and lifts delicately. So the driver places both of his hands at his groin and delicately lifts up.

The lady glares, runs a finger up between her derriere, and gets off the matatu with her bag held tightly under her armpit. Do you know derrieres ? Ha ha haaa. She wears a frowning face as she walks towards another Matatu. It doesn't feel like a Friday evening for her.

There is another lady sitting in the first column of the vehicle pretending to be on her phone but saw the entire trade. Now she shoots up her head... 

She shouts out, "That was absolutely the most appalling thing I have at any point seen on a public transport! What the hellfire would you say you were doing?"

"Listen woman," expresses the blunt driver, "that woman had no ears. She was deaf I mean ...She inquired as to whether the mat  went to Thika road. I said no, we go to Waiyaki Way. She inquired as to whether we make many stops. I let her  know this was express. She inquired as to whether we go by the bypass and I told her, no we go by Westlands, she said "Alaas, I'm on the wrong bus" and got off.

Wait what the hell.. ! 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Half a head

There were thin and bleak sounds, noises that were either real or imaginary. A sound of a wild bird in distress from a far, an owl maybe or a cardinal, accompanied by what sounded like uneasy movement and groaning noises from within. Those unnerving noises that make you believe hell is real and the damned has flung the gates open. He was in the police cell, the cell had huge shelves and guys were sleeping on the floor like they always do. You might have met this somewhere; you might have heard of it from the walls of your sitting room or the streets. It is a tale of this guy Boniface Kimanyano Ayoti, an epic face of crime, larger than life. A guy whose weakness was crime. Anything criminal triggered something in him. Something that not only made him content but also put him in a zone where nothing else could. Even though it can’t tell it all, Bonnie’s face is a tale of crime. Before you hear a word from him you know he’s not been an average human being. He has a swelling just above

The Holy Studio

  I met Philip Mutemi in the streets of wanderlust diaries. He wrote a piece that caused stir and led to a lot of fuss. If you know the wanderlust diaries you're safe. You may actually go to heaven if Christ comes today. His display picture is of a man seated with arms crossed in what looks like a pub. A man probably past middle age. Looking at him another time, I feel like he has four children. Again looking at him, he doesn’t look like in 2014 he was 20 years old, I mean he almost looks older than my father. He honestly couldn’t be 30 right now. All these observations I made because of how some people in the comment section threw stones at him. So, Philip claims that back in 2014 his 3 cousins, 4 neighbours and himself were to join campus. They were given money to go and buy laptops. What is campus life without a laptop? The next Monday early in the morning they were in Nairobi. There was one cousin who was street smart and managed to convince them the he was well acquainted wi

Major Ariel

Ariel studies Chemistry, but is also a footballer who retired prematurely because of a bad knee. A knee that chose chemistry over football. He is a farmer during long holidays. He keeps chicken and milk his father’s cow on a good day. On a bad day he goes to a nearby dusty arena to play football, to see if his knee could have possibly changed its idea about chemistry. Ten minutes into the  game he becomes a living testimony that his knees were actually meant to stand long hours in the chemistry lab doing tests and mixing chemicals to see colour changes, precipitates and what have you that don’t excite me. He is a vocabulary expert and a story teller. He is a fitness aficionado. He is a brother and a son. I can’t prove that he is a boyfriend but I can prove beyond any limits that in the past 7 days he has eaten chapatti at least thrice.  He's authored   THE FAMILY MAN ,   WHAT I WANT , GRIP REAPER ,  J'S COCUNUTS just to mention a handful. He is a huge Chelsea fan, a bruised te