Slippery

I was about to have a very long frustrating night once again. Traveling from home today was my choice. No one coerced me, but chasing the bus on a motorbike was not my choice. 

I arrived at the Ena coach station at 8.29 pm. The bus was scheduled to leave at 8.30pm. In the history of me travelling with this bus it has never left on time. Let me tell you siku ya kufa nyani miti yote huteleza. Yaani slippery! I just delayed intentionally so I don't have to sit at the booking office for long. 

'Leo nayo unaachwa,' Kevo told me. I told him I know the bus I'm traveling on arrogantly. Furthermore, it was a 'highway bus' - coming from Sirare. My mom asked me why I'm delaying. I told her the bus will arrived late. She said calmly, 'that bus usually arrives early.' But who am I ?  the guy who knows his bus. 

And let me tell you Maina, the previous day I ate some githeri at shosho's place that some how 'haribikiad' me. I was relactant to book a ticket. I was still listening to my stomach. Like literally listing, 'hey, you okay?' I didn't want a repeat of what happened on my first Mombasa trip. I was feeling iish iish. Pukish and dizzyish. It was not your normal stomach upset. When mom came back she told me to koroga some activated charcoal powder in warm water. I did exactly that and felt better. What a doctor in the house! 

I felt okay and decided to book seat no. #A15. I like sitting on the A side. Reasons best known to me. My booking App decided to misbehave. So they sent me a playbill number and an account number (some code). I did the booking and 10 minites later I had not received any response. No ticket sent.

I felt like I used a wrong code. I went back to my Mpesa and compared it to the code they sent. I missed a f*n U letter. U has done me bad this night, let me tell you. Not you, U. I called the office line, behind telephone was a female voice. I told her my name, why did I even do that ? 

I told her my shit and she told me to read her the Mpesa code and phone number. She was very fussy, telling me to read the letters and what they stand for like a kindergarten kid. It was all okay till I reached S. Everything that starts with S disappeared. Even Satan was nowhere, I almost told her S for Sex. But she gave a helping hand and asked, S for Snake? Now I was left wondering where the hell snake had been all this time. She helped me, I got my ticket.

We arrived at the booking office. The bus was just leaving, at 8.29pm. What on God's beautiful earth was really happening ! I had ignored their calls and now the number was off. I saw someone shut the booking office door.  The bus was right ahead of us moving slowly and slowed down finally. Me and my big sack of goodies, I told kevo to go ahead of it so that we wave to the driver. 

The town was a little busy so we couldn't find our way ahead of the bus. Kevo told me, 'tutampita na huko juu'  I put all my trust in Kevo to save this messy evening. We were just following the bus closely untill it reached a gentle hill. I knew we lost it. A double wheeled Scania bus Vs a TVs motorbike without both side mirrors was the biggest joke this century. We lost the bus completely. 

I was the one now psyching Kevo with his ailing motorbike. I told him that this bus stops over at Awendo. 'You can do it Kevo, come one,' I told him slapping his back. Kevo forced power into the engines of his sick motorbike. The motorbike groaned badly on the gentle hill, but it did no better than a tired donkey with a broken leg.

I lost my last hope when we reached a straight  stretch but there was no sign of anything moving. I changed onto another motorbike that charge me ksh 400. A whopping ksh 400.  This figure should be accompanied by a crying emoji. It was a tough race. With my 'lodi' of goodies pressing my laps. The wind being so brutal on my face and the vibration of the motorbike causing 'kaladhidhi'  on my feet. I mean 'kuganda' anyone who knows English please ?. It is by grace that no accident occurred. The new boda boda guy understood the assignment. 

At the next expected booking office I saw the arse of the bus blinking red. I was only praying it was a KCU. I slapped the boda guy who was already feeling he failed me on the back. I told him to rush ahead of the bus so we wave to the driver. I was glad this was not Kevo's motorbike. The bus stopped. Finally after a whole 30minutes chase. I quickly pulled out two ksh 200 notes and gave the guy. 

I asked the conductor why the bus left before time. He looked at me surprised and said it is me that kept the bus waiting for half an hour. He said the bus was scheduled for 8pm. I showed him my ticket and he said it's because I booked on the app. Bure kabisa! I was grateful but when I reached my seat, there was a fat woman on it. Most likely a nun or a sister, she was in those attires. I decided not to bother her and just sat on the available seat. She sucks though. Forcing me into stories I don't want and constantly opening the window aaghr!

The driver speeds, Great speed, not over speeding but somehow the bus has issues with its suspension so it hits the bumps and potholes hard sometimes. Or was it the road that was so bad behind there? Women want to crucify him for being careless and reckless I had no man's voice. Probably they understand that it's the hind shocks that are somehow worn out. 

The light of this phone is now stinging my eyes I got to sleep...