Skip to main content

By Ted

Ted Malanda makes me laugh during the hardest times. The son of polis knows how to bring out the humour in everything... This is a piece by Ted 

***

When you are a child, you are always finding amusing things to laugh at.

Bird craps on teacher's forehead, you laugh. Mum falls, you laugh. You see a goat taking a piss, you laugh your guts out. At least once every week, something makes you laugh so hard your tummy aches.

But as you age, you increasingly find fewer and fewer things to laugh at. A whole week can go by without you laughing. You barely remember the last time you had a roaring laugh.

By the time you are 80, you have seen so much BS that the only thing that makes you laugh is the rare occasion when a certified idiot makes sense.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Major Ariel

Ariel studies Chemistry, but is also a footballer who retired prematurely because of a bad knee. A knee that chose chemistry over football. He is a farmer during long holidays. He keeps chicken and milk his father’s cow on a good day. On a bad day he goes to a nearby dusty arena to play football, to see if his knee could have possibly changed its idea about chemistry. Ten minutes into the  game he becomes a living testimony that his knees were actually meant to stand long hours in the chemistry lab doing tests and mixing chemicals to see colour changes, precipitates and what have you that don’t excite me. He is a vocabulary expert and a story teller. He is a fitness aficionado. He is a brother and a son. I can’t prove that he is a boyfriend but I can prove beyond any limits that in the past 7 days he has eaten chapatti at least thrice.  He's authored   THE FAMILY MAN ,   WHAT I WANT , GRIP REAPER ,  J'S COCUNUTS just to mention a handful. He is a huge Chelsea fan, a bruised te
24 comments
Read more

Half a head

There were thin and bleak sounds, noises that were either real or imaginary. A sound of a wild bird in distress from a far, an owl maybe or a cardinal, accompanied by what sounded like uneasy movement and groaning noises from within. Those unnerving noises that make you believe hell is real and the damned has flung the gates open. He was in the police cell, the cell had huge shelves and guys were sleeping on the floor like they always do. You might have met this somewhere; you might have heard of it from the walls of your sitting room or the streets. It is a tale of this guy Boniface Kimanyano Ayoti, an epic face of crime, larger than life. A guy whose weakness was crime. Anything criminal triggered something in him. Something that not only made him content but also put him in a zone where nothing else could. Even though it can’t tell it all, Bonnie’s face is a tale of crime. Before you hear a word from him you know he’s not been an average human being. He has a swelling just above
21 comments
Read more

The Holy Studio

  I met Philip Mutemi in the streets of wanderlust diaries. He wrote a piece that caused stir and led to a lot of fuss. If you know the wanderlust diaries you're safe. You may actually go to heaven if Christ comes today. His display picture is of a man seated with arms crossed in what looks like a pub. A man probably past middle age. Looking at him another time, I feel like he has four children. Again looking at him, he doesn’t look like in 2014 he was 20 years old, I mean he almost looks older than my father. He honestly couldn’t be 30 right now. All these observations I made because of how some people in the comment section threw stones at him. So, Philip claims that back in 2014 his 3 cousins, 4 neighbours and himself were to join campus. They were given money to go and buy laptops. What is campus life without a laptop? The next Monday early in the morning they were in Nairobi. There was one cousin who was street smart and managed to convince them the he was well acquainted wi
12 comments
Read more