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Who is this?

 By Brian Mbanacho

"Who is this?" is never a good question to be asked. 


Mostly because it's a question only asked when it's clear you are assuming your identity is already known to the other party. Like when you take a girl's number at an event and you even call her so she, too, can have your number, only for her to ask, "Who is this?" when you call her the next day. 


Or when the love of your life tells you they need time to work on themselves and so you give them two days because no one needs more time than that to work on themselves, unless they make Chapo-malenge, in which case they should take two weeks. On the third day you WhatsApp her only to be slapped with, "Who is this?" 


Kwanza you think it's a joke, so you say, "Surely, it's me!" 


"That doesn't say anything. Please introduce yourself properly."


"ITS ME!"


"And who are you?" 


"Your boyfriend."


You see her typing but no message comes forth. Now you are fuming, so you call her, but a man with Johnson Mwakazi''s voice picks and asks, "Who is this?" 


You immediately want your mother.

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