The Requiem Mass

All Saints Cathedral, Nairobi

I was at All Saints Cathedral on Friday. I go there to pray during the day. There was a requiem mass. Before you get serious, this is not a very serious post. Shall we continue please, minus the seriousness?

Okay.

Sasa, I stood outside to wait for the service to end. Now two guys approached me. One with the Eulogy and another one with a small white thing he stuck on my chest and half a litter bottle of water. They both insisted on shaking my hands and saying pole sana. I played along and said, “yote tunawachia Mungu.” 

Minutes later the service ended. Now I looked like part of those mourning. I was dressed in all black. And my specs must have looked like sunglasses under the sun. 

A guy, a famous guy, I think I have seen him on TV giving opinions about the economy or the Sakaja or the Jubilee Government or this other current government. One of those guys. He approaches me and hugs me and offers his condolences. “Pole sana my son.” Then he proceeds to ask me, “na níúheirwo cai?”. That is to ask, if I had been given chai. I almost said that I didn't have the appetite given the circumstances. But he encouraged me to be strong and to take tea. He even said, “maisha ni fupi sana. Wacha sisi wenye tumebaki tukule.” Then he whistled and seemed to be lost in deep sorrow  and trepidation.

I called my sister to ask her if our family had lost somebody and they had not told me. Maybe they wanted it to be a surprise. With family you don't know these things. 

Anyway, we went on to take tea and samosas and sausages and mandazis. Then the guy asked me, “Úrathie atía Kariokor?” there is where I knew there was no way that dead guy was ours. Our family cannot cremate. Even if you write a will and declare that that is how you want to check out. My people cannot accept it. They will form a committee and say, “ithue tútire twacina múndú.”

I slid away into the crowd and got into the church. Getting out, there was a photo of me and the famous guy condoling with me taken by a paparazzi and going for 50 bob. I looked at it and wondered, if I took this thing home, how would I explain to people of how I know the guy?

Anyway, is it Monday where you are? Be truly happy.

As told by 

#nduguabisai